When you refuse to travel anywhere before you have read all your maps in the light of a full moon...you might learn something useful... (Olorin)

You go into a bookstore for a gift for your mum... you head off for the Fantasy section....engross yourself in Tolkiens works, even reading parts of books you already have, end up sitting on the floor( Waterstones is a bit trendy ) you lose yourself in words and illustrations, suddenly 3 hours have elapsed... and your mum receives one of those daft trilogies that involve love, 3 generations, and utter boredom that you just grabbed off the shelf...(Dumenelion)

You scream in commotion "that’s my home!! when you see Isengard in the TTT’s sessions, and when you want to curse with a powerful spell the nasty boy of the cinema who’s charging you £6 cuz he doesnt believe you are a student, but you discovered half amazed that what you believed it was a staff is just a cigarrette. (or that’s a plaza freak?mm, all the same!) (Aleluya)

You leave the washing up for Lobelia. (Loke Clogwearer)

You find yourself repeatedly advising others that "Well, that’s not quite the way it happens in the book" when discussing the Films. (Pallador)

When you try to remember and recite many of Gollum’s soliloquies in the Hobbit, Two Towers, and Return of the King. Then, you practice saying "My Precious" to sound like Andy Serkis while holding your gold-plated One Ring. Finally you let your little brother watch your bootleg TT and he begins to say "My Precious" too. (Incanus)

You start questioning your every action, thinking "is this what Gandalf /Frodo /Aragorn/ Elrond /Galadriel /Tolkien would do? (Kemenore)

You talk aout lotr constantly. Especially how you have seenthe movie eight times and how you have read the book like a million and start to name your friends after LOTR characters. Regardless if they like Tolkien!" (Avari)

You’re trying to cross a very busy street and in the middle of the street you suddenly turn to the oncoming cars, you raise your umbrella and shout:" YOU CANNOT PASS!" (Ultchuk)

Your friends no longer ask you to go to the cinema with them because they know the only thing you want to see is TTT for the hundreth time and you can recite Orlando Blooms lines word for word. (Moneta)

You prefer your fish "live and wriggling" (gollum) (Altallo)

You know the current date in Shire Reckoning. (Eltirme)

When you go on vacation to visit Tolkien’s grave, and stay there for one week, only visiting that cemetary. And when you come there more then his own family (all counted together) does. Then you know you’re a freak.(Xazirri)

You find you mother phoning somebody and she is saying ’’Should I worry if my son is wearing a coat of mail and brandishing a sword 6 feets long?’’ and you are walking to your room to sleep. Then you must think if your mind is gone and you believe you are Aragorn himself, Arwen is waiting for you in Rivendel, or if you’re just a freak and you need a big amount of money to pay the psycologist your mother was phoning to. (Istarendil)

You’ve convinced yourself you’re an Elf, even having your ears surgically altered so they’re pointy and speaking only in Elvish. You build a boat on the West Coast and set sail, and when you reach land you’re convinced it’s Eressea, and go around asking everyone you see if they know where Frodo, Sam and Gandalf are.(Aniroaldawen)

You go in to a lake and start singing the forbidden pool song while beating a fish on a rock and when your mom tells you it’s time to leave you starting screaming master is trixie! (biz the blue)

You shout "you shall not pass" to every shadow you see on your bedroom wall at night. (jennyelfqueen)

A certain question can bring you to your knees and make you beg for mercy...And the question is: "Who is Tom Bombadil?" (Marina)

You go into a jewelery store and try on all of their rings one by one, trying to see if they have any that will make you invisible, or if they unknowingly carry one of the Rings of Power. (TheWhiteRider7)

You go to the grocierie to and when you see someone with a lot of vegetables in you say (as if you don’t know)"you’ve benn into Farmer Maggot crop" (Dwalin Iceskin)

After shaving your head and living in the pool for the last three months, and not coming out at day, you sit in maths upon your desk gnawing on raw fish and glance over to the two short guys in the corner, who by now are deadly afraid of you and start talking to yourself. (Zion)

You’ve been online at the plaza in your bedroom so long that you resemble the inside of a maris piper and you hiss at the light when your mother comes in and opens the curtains. (Lorien-istari)

Your living room is furnished like the Council of Elrond (Lanzky)

You see a short person walking about in the city and you run over to them asking if they are Frodo or related to any Hobbit. (Donedhelien)

You begin every meeting you attend (work) with " I am a Tolkaholic," then quote Tolkien’s works as references (chapter and book) for everything in conversation; and end those same conversations with "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. . . Before this is over, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many." when those who are speaking with don’t agree with you. (whirledtraveler)

You look in the mirror and see a tall person with long blond hair and you say to yourself "never trust an elf!" and start smashing the mirror (Blue Silk Sword)

You make your fiance read The Lord of the Rings before you’ll marry him, and you threaten his life if he dog-ears the pages. He reads it, you marry and have a lovely little daughter who has had the hobbit and LotR read to her chapter by chapter as her bedtime stories by the time she is 7. I hope I didn’t mar her little soul with violence at such a young age. It seems to have worked out well, no major psycological problems in the last 20 years. I’m still watching, though. (Arwe Thereyet)

When you grow the hairy on your head, and the hair on your feet to the presice number of meters,feet,inches,centimeters ect. ect. of Frodo Baggins. (Duncirith)

All of your RL friends call you Frodo b/c of the length and overall curlyness of your hair...and they constantly come to you with questions regarding Middle Earth!!! (Beleg Cuthalion)

You visit the zoo and cross out "elephant" and re-write "oliphaunt" before they arrest you. (Gerontian)

You scratch FRODO LIVES on all the restroom walls between your house and Kansas City! (El Guapo)

You say: ’Namárië’ when leaving work, and don’t understand why everyone gives you an odd look after you did so. (Eamane)

You pass your time with playing "tig" and "cup" with your fellow fanatic friend (*g*@Frérina) and fighting over who will get to name their future children Haleth, Theodred, Eothain and Freya. (Marin Sandbrow)

You name your lab instrument Precious and you go by it each day, stroke it lovingly and say, "My Preeesssssiouss, It Loves Us, Doesn’t It, My Pressssssious, It wants to give us good information, Doesn’t it, Dear Pressssscious! (Anastacia)

Someone doesn’t understand a reference you made to Middle Earth, you pity them because you truly believe they must have a low IQ. (Tinkerbell)

You spend hours in a kitchen, at the height of summer, in a tropical or mediterranean climate, trying to make some Lembas... then get discouraged, and decide to do something simpler... like go fishing with your own bare hands. (Lanthir Lamath)

You have a tendency to involutarily replace words with those from the Lord of the Rings. For example, a certain place will become Helm’s Deep, or someone will become peregrin. Also, when you go to your friend’s house (who also does this) you will speak only of LOTR, any boy talk will be set aside, because when LOTR words pop up, ultamately a conversatoin on it will follow. (NerrestaAilin)

You and your friends do a skit for english by going around the class room screaming where is it where is Pressiousssss. Beating your head on the tables and stealing everyone of your classmate’s rings, and try to find the One. (Tigris)

you actually believe you can walk on snow, and blame Saruman when it is, in all actuality, impossible! (or, in my case, my boyfriend who is apparently a bigger Tolkien freak than me, tells me to shut up about LotR for the 50th time!) (Elaira)

A former student stationed in Korea risks an international incident to steal you a LotR movie ad in Korean (which really looks COOL on your classroom wall!). (Blackrose Bugg)

You re-enact all those Moria scenes on various stairs....and you never believe anybody who tells you you’ve just stabbed a toy bear, not an orc. (Severus Snape)

you go mad and start throwing bricks around whenever you hear the word ’allegory’ (Serine)

you start grabbing random large rocks then lay down and ask one of your friends to sit down with you then ask another friend to "light me" (Mithriltears)

You explain to the police that the reason you burnt down the bridge was because there was balrog on it. (Varamir)

you know know about the legends of ME than about the current asainment of your history class. (gsccirca1911)

You bother posting a "you know when your a Tolkien freak when..." thing. (Melkor-Morgoth)

You spend more then five hours a day in the LORD OF THE RINGS PLAZA!!!!! :is guilty as charged: (Endymion Estel)

When you’re totally appalled that the decline of the Kings of Gondor, the rule of the various Stewards, and then the return of the Heirs of Isildur in the form of Aragorn is not a key component of your History class. (Erume)

you buy the witchking blade and chase your brother around the house hissing because he stole your copy of the One ring...(Guilty) (Gwaereon)

you cry "O! Elbereth! Gilthoniel!" whenever you are about to be punched by your older brother. (Remma Bashrasha)

You try to kill spiders with flashlights. (Aklaek Firesword)

you scream: "Go back to the firey chasms from whence you came, evil Mordor scum" when your brother insults LotR. Annd then start re-enacting the Moria sequences, not listen ing to any one who tells you that the balrog is a chair. (guilty) (Shieldmaiden)

You post on one of these ridiculous message boards. (RitzBitz)

After making love your girlfrien told you: Wooou it was good, but why did you shout: Khazad, Khazad! (Emperor)

all of your email adresses are somehow related to tolkien, your computer backdrop is the concept art of lothlorien, your screen saver is the gollum one, you have 7 lotr posters on your wall and wehn you sit down to read tolkien books, you put the soundtrack on really loud turn off the lights, get your books light and read for two hours straight. (gollumgrey)

a) you weasel any character from any book he has written into an essay or assignment (guilty), b) when you hear ’the Shroud of Turin’ you think the elf known as Mormegil, not the place in Spain (guilty), c) When anyone mis-pronounces a name, you look calm, but your eye noticably twitches (thankfully, not guilty) (Catherine)

if you are bored you begin imagining that you are in middle earth with countless orcs surround ing you, and then you somehow figure out a way to kill them all to pass the time. (mithril_warrior)

you devote endless hours to editing other science fiction/fantasy books so that they are more Tolkien-like. (Pellakrisiel)

your entire day composes of an obligatory activity (school/college/work), coming home, and spending the rest of the day/night on the Plaza and reading Tolkien in various turns and sometimes together. (Aelf Doomhammer)

You go to every Travel Agency in your city and around it, asking if they do trips to Middle Earth or the Undying Lands, and if they don’t, you wonder why not, you are so convinced they exist. (Denethor II)

You realise that you have pointy ears when you look in the mirror, you wake up one morning to find your feet covered in foot-hair, and far too big to fit in shoes (plus, you find shoes much too uncomfortable!), you insist on wearing wearing long flowing robes (or dresses), a crooked pointy hat, and carrying a staff, and you only speak/read things in Sindarin Elvish. You only answer to the name of "Aragorn/Galadriel (if you’re a girl)" (Starbreeze)

You ask where the Round Doors are at Home Depot. (Valacar)

you walk amelessly down the hall reading one of the books while at the same time muttering in elvish to your self "one ring to rule them all, on ring to find then, on ring to bring hem all and in the darkness bind them." and suddenly you run into a huge concreat pillar. (KallieGirl317)

You go a bit mad while decorating your house… your basement becomes Moria, your garage becomes Mordor (and of course you forbid people from going in there), you flood your bathroom to recreate Lake Lorrelin, you dig a hobbit hole in the garden, your attic becomes Mount Caradhras and your living room turns into the House of Elrond. (Grey Pilgrim)

you have all articles related to LOTR in you’re room. (beren-theblack)

You start considering plastic surgery to have bigger hairier feet, or pointed ears. (Aeolus)

You name each part of your school or work after places in Middle-Earth. (Vanimar)

Someone tries to take your ’precious’ and your face gets that contorted look (like Bilbo’s did in Rivendell). (chrysthanium)

you spend several days trying to get the trees in your backyard to talk back to you. (Histewen)

A collegue calls you "elfy" as a joke and you actually respond, you then become the official school elf (and also the butt of many jokes). (Linwe Earfalas)

when your brother threatens to beat you up and you reply ’I fear neither pain nor death’ and your brother just stares at you shaking his head and then turns around saying ’forget it, insanity might be infectious. (Celena)

You’re dissapointed when Your parents give you a horse for your birthday because it’s ’only’ a normal horse and not one of the meara’s. (Eldrith)

You make up a name, clothes, weapons, the designs on it, your history, your hair colour, your eyes colour and right down to your behaviour ’cause you want to imagine what you will be if you are in Middle-earth.>When you are asked your greatest desire, you say, "I would like to be on Middle-earth and do nothing but to fight orcs all day long." or When you go dancing down the streets with yellow boots and singing the songs that Tom Bombadil sang. (Wilde Fyrgast)

you visit New Zealand and end up being chased off of some farmer’s field for trying to build yourself a hobbit hole. (Raen Took)

When you yell "FOR ROHAN!!" every time that you are playing a sport or video game, and you are about to make a move! (Melnauriel)

You start composing music to the various songs in the book and sing them to yourself whilst getting ready for bed at night! (Vorquelle)

You can relate anything and everything to LotR and people have started threatening you with pain and dismemberment if you call someone a "legolas wannabe" one more time. (LadyElf)

You’re in your car and your at a stoplight, furious because it’s making you run late. After yelling a few words at it, you mutter "I once knew all the spells in all the tounges of men, elves, and orcs..." (Aranel Tasar)

everytime a bird tweets, you dive under a bush and lie there shaking and moaning. (Ascaharmawen)

you compose new words to the song "I’m going to Carolina in my Mind", until it becomes "I’m going to Middle-Earth in my Mind". (Balan)

You constantly refer to Middle-Earth as an eighth continent in your history class, and also refer to the ancient European Kingdom of Aragon as the incorrect name for Gondor. You also raise your hand to say that the rulers of England after the fall of Monarchs were the Stuarts- and that this is misspelled and should be spelt ’Stewards’. (Eles Vardamir)

you walk half way across the world to throw your best friends wedding ring into a volcano, only to discover it didnt end all evil. (Narquelie)

You call you brother who lives five thousand miles away and after brief hellos get right into "Okay so do balrogs have wings or are they just shadow" and two hours later when you hang up the phone you realize you never asked how he did on his exams last week. (Olorin Forostar)

Your parents are considering counsel for you because you keep saying "my preciouse" in the Gollum voice and steal your mom’s ring. And you freak when someone say that Middle Earth is not real, you truly believe you say an elf in the woods, you quote the spells that Gandalf said at Moria when your key won’t open your stupid door! (Sameach)