To my part in the great music I, sadly, am still unaware of. I know this; that it has something akin to occult and hidden things and that it must have been of significance for much interest was taken of me as the dividing occurred. There were great powers of the beings of Ilúvatar’s thought, the Ainur, and because of the tearing of the heavens that the mightiest had caused, a great multitude where to be sent into the world. He who arises in might, Morgoth as the elves call him, tore into the great work so that he could weave his own designs into the music of the one Ilúvatar’s. When the Valar, greatest powers among the Ainur, were sent into Arda to watch over and counter the deeds of Morgoth many lesser powers, though great in themselves, came with them to aid their works.

Maiar, these lesser spirits are so named. And only the strongest and wisest and those who knew or harmonised well with the Ainulindalë where sent. And even yet from those, the Valar vied for some. I was one of these many few. A great many of my spirit companions went to the halls of Mandos under Námo either to build the caverns or to be vassals for Námo. I would even become a servant in time.

At this time the dark lord was moving, also, vying for the most corruptible and most powerful to be under him. He came then to me and played at my strings well to alter my allegiance. I had contributed through my songs a mighty but small gift, one that he could not have ever been without in his designs, to the powers of the dark one; deception. It is because of this that I finally chose to take the offer of might and so Tulkas became my master. For he matched in strength the black foe and I thought I may donate my skills to the most viable means of defeating Bauglir.

Both I and my closest companion entered into Tulkas Poldórea. He was as my brother in thought and my opposite for if something was there to see, it was be alit in his mind. The great smith, whom had his pride damaged by my decision, for he struggled desperately to have my service, needed strong spirits to aid him hew the channels of Mandos and we were given up to him for a period. We were to carve a great tunnel to the eastern sea and as overseer of this operation his name I cannot utter, for he stole much of my talent. So it came to pass that the hall came to the misty eastern sea. And my brother and I were deceived and my brother’s faith within him destroyed. Morgoth, though in retrospect it seems foolish, convinced us and under the guidance of our working superior we both became his servants.

Powerful and grovelling became my brother, for if this Lord could deceive him it would be better to be on his side. I saw through the musings of Morgoth but not before the damage that is irrevocable and that I can, under no circumstances, undo had been done.

Alas, but it is so. In my redemption here in Middle-Earth I shall be given that chance to equal but not overthrow my wrongdoings.

The Light of Laurelin and Telperion could not quite reach the land in which I awoke. I lay there cold, naked, alone, until she saw me. Pity had a tear that fell on me and purified me from all evil. Mercy stood fast, looking attentively at me as I was helpless. Patience graced me with an outstretched arm to help me to me feet. She clothed me with a loose robe of hers which surrounded my entire body then led me to her deep delved halls. Fui Nienna Queen of Shadows took me in as a member of her shadowy folk. She gave me the duty to see that all those souls, human or elven, who would come to her halls that needed to travel to that black ship Mornie found there way safely to their eternal destination.

Ai! Numandesse vanimar! How I miss you!
My name here was Feafuin the spirit of mist as the mists the surrounded the ship would protect and enclose the journey to that no harm would come to those who have died. But it was not to be. My time serving Nienna was cut short when one soul of an elf played on my pity and disobeying my orders I let her travel back to wait in the halls of Mandos.