Greetings, visitors! You may have seen the Caption Contest in the Istari Newbie House, if you haven't then
 let me poke you to go look! Now, we decided that it would be a waste not to let you see some of the captions that
our contestants came up with, so the winners of previous contests will have their captions set in stone here!
Congratulations to them!

Gimli tries out for the Moria Theatre Company with a rousing rendition of "Oooook-lahoma, where the wind comes
tumbling down the plain...."
Rohanna of Mordor

Gimli, sloshed on Dorwinion ale, starts yodelling: "when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you aaaaare..."
Tinw of Rivendell

Upon seeing the Cave Troll enter the room, Gimli, shocked and dismays, says,
"Ohhh! Have you ever seen such a big pimple in your life, laddie?"
Rinon of Gondor


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Pippin: I’m sorry you lost it Gimli. If it makes you feels better, you can have a lock of Merry’s hair.
Tar-Baggins

Merry: Does that sign on Gandalf’s back say what I think it says?
Gimli: (Reading) "Give me a penny and I will Riverdance."
Luinel

Pippin prepares to run as Gimli caught sight of himself in the mirror ... "Who plaited my beard?"
Ears


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Bilbo: WHAT!!!! YOU SOLD BAG END TO THE SACKVILLE-BAGGINS?!?!?!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?
Kadmiel

Bilbo: The light! It burns us! It burns us!
Frodo: Too much to drink again last night, Uncle Bilbo?
Flutterby

Bilbo: I’ll get you my pretty! And your little dog, too! Ahhahahahhaah!
Soreth


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*Saruman regrets putting his bedroom on the top floor of Orthanc....* Darn it! I can’t remember if I locked
the front door before getting in bed!
Camino

After another afternoon spent mopping the floor of Isengard, Wormtongue forgot to put out the
"Caution Floor May Be Slippy" Sign
Gouldie

Saruman awakes terrified from a nightmare in which the Ents are attacking Isengard...only to find they actually are.
Rosawyn


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Gandalf: wait I think I’m getting something, Legolas your bedroom at home is taken over by our brother
Legolas: WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!!!!!
Gandalf: WAIT there is something more, Boromir I’m sorry but your father is a lunatic
Boromir: Well I already knew that
Gandalf: WAIT THERE IS MORE, ARAGORN, ARWEN IS YOUR SISTER
Radagast 2

Gandalf: I’M MELTING!!!!!!!!!
Orlando: Are you serious??????
Viggo: Not AGAIN........
Sean: I don’t quite remember THAT in the script.....
Kadmiel

Aragorn: what did you say?
Legolas: You want us to what?
Gandalf: A triple round off back handstand right into a pyramid. And then jump out in a right double back flip. Got it?
Legolas: He cant be serious
Boromir: O he’s serious. You should have seen him at the Fall Ball in Gondor. He actually had something to
drink then, this is just the usual
Manwe Sulimo#1


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Frodo: Uh, Gandalf?
Gandalf: Yes Frodo.
Frodo: We have to turn back. I think I left the ring on my nightstand in Rivendell.
Arceleb

*narrator*
Cloak: $50
Sword: $100
Going on a life-changing Quest with several of your best friends: Priceless
Fëanen Elentüro

Little did the Fellowship know that the Huorns following them kept changing the landscape so that the Fellowship
thought they were moving in a circle...
Gandalf: This looks familiar......
Frodo: And i thought I didn’t know the way.
Aragorn: Next time i’ll drive.....oh wait crap they weren’t invented yet
Alator


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Sam muttering as he waxes Frodo’s legs: Jeez and how’s he gonna react when I do his feet?
Lauzicles of Imladris

After hours of filming in a dinky little rowboat, Elijah realizes that Viggo, Sean, and Orlando are windsurfing:
"THAT IS SO UNFAIR!!
Kadmiel of Isengard

Frodo was seriously starting to regret accepting Sam’s offer of removing the pine needles from when
he had absolutely had to go!
Cherriax of Khazad-dum


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Lurtz: But you promised that I would look like Legolas!
Saruman: Yes yes, I know I made a few mistakes... but little bit of botox and hair implant... you could look like him... almost.
Daywalker of Isengard

Saruman- Now come to think of it, I maybe should of added a bit of elf.
Lurtz- Yeah, maybe some oregano too, or ,Ooo, some basil, or just even a bay leaf!
Alvic of Isengard

Saruman: Okay, Lurtz, ’fess up. Who took the cookies from the cookie jar?
Kadmiel of Isengard


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Gandalf: (calmly) I say Legolas, do you know what this fuzzy stuff attacking us is?
Legolas: (also calm) I think it’s the ent hair getting revenge on the wizards who invaded Orlando.
Gandalf: Well whatever it is, it’s eating Gimli.
Gimli: YOU CAN TAKE MY FREEDOM, BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE MY BEARD!
Alteru of Isengard

Gandalf: Legolas, did you here some thing?
Legolas: no.
Gimli farts
Gandalf: But I’m sure I......................EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! What’s that smell?!?!?
Legolas: I can’t tell i’b holdig by dose!
Gimli: What? I didn’t mean to!
Legolas and Gandalf: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!
Gimli: why? It was only a little fart!
Legolas: It’s not that, you’ve awakened the....... the… SMURFS!!!!!!!!!!!
Dilanna Valan

Gandalf (looking down his nose): I’ve seen a lot more than you, young man.
Legolas: You see? Young man?
Gimli glomps Gandalf.
Legolas (aggrieved): I told you you had a problem seeing.
Nineran Isme of Isengard


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Legolas: *whistles* Wow! What a perfect placement for a mirror!
Nineran Isme of Isengard

(I’m a model, you know what I mean
and I do my little turn on the catwalk, I’m too sexy for my...)
DayWalker of Isengard

Legolas (singing): "The hills are alive....with the sound of music!"
JediElf of Isengard


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The world is changing. I can feel it in the water, I can smell it in the hair...
Shayleyla of KD

Hey! Legolas was right, her sideburns are much longer than mine!
Bilbosring of Isengard

As the Lady of the Golden Wood bent down to kiss the hobbit farewell, she smelled strawberries in his hair.
So that’s where all the strawberry-scented shampoo disappeared to... "
Feanarawen of Isengard


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Gollum: Where’s my precious lucky orc’s foot?
Sam: Oooo...
Frodo: Uh! I think I’m gonna be sick!
Randal Floyd of Isengard

Sam: Of course this is good! I got the recipe off of Martha Stewart’s TV show!
Kadmiel of Isengard

Sam: " I could outstare you any day!"
Grey Pilgrim of Isengard


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TOUCHDOWN!!!!
Maglor Seregon of Isengard

Could someone please help me out of here!!
DayWalker of Isengard

You should have seen the orc I killed! It was this big!
Grey Pilgrim of Isengard



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Frodo: Ooh.... Shiny...
Eleri of Isengard

Frodo: My car? Where is my car?!?
Maglor of Isengard

Frodo was overcome by the dimpled smiles of Petunia Bolger, and soon the One Ring appeared as an engagement
ring on the finger of the hobbit lass.
Kadmiel of Isengard



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Sam: "I saw you using Mr. Frodo’s toothbrush last night, Stinker."
Kilvakar of Isengard

Gollum: We’ve glued our hand to our head again, Precious....cursesssess
Nethron of Isengard

wait a minute... what am I doing here?
Romennine of Isengard



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Faramir: "I’m with Stupid."
Grey Pilgrim of Isengard

Faramir: ...In conclusion, ladies and gents, by buying this moisturising potion, you too can dramatically improve your
skin tone just like me!
Boromir: Pssst!! Why am I here again?
Faramir: You’re the before picture.
Serafina of Isengard

After Gondor’s recapture of Osgiliath, a reporter corners the tired brothers for a photo op:
Reporter: Stand a little closer to each other and smile! C’mon Boromir, just a little smile.
Faramir: Could you hurry it up, please? I need to set up a defensive perimeter around the...ah, ale.
Kadmiel of Isengard



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After the Rohirrim banned them from the Limbo contest on account of "unfair advantages", Merry and Pippin tried out a
different competition--who can balance a full mug of ale on their head?
Kadmiel of Isengard

Pippin: ROCK ON!!!
Nethron of Isengard

Pippin had a funny feeling he should have emptied his mug before copying Merry...
Grey Pilgrim of Isengard


Merry - ... And I thought he said at thermal equilibrium, the emissivity of a body (or surface) equals its absorbtivity!!!
Pippin - HAAAHAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAA!!!! ..... (silence)
Attempt " (five minutes after the absorbtivity thing)
Pippin - ...So what does that have to do with wearing these beer mugs?
Alvic of Isengard


Merry and Pippin together (singing): Put your mug up here, put your mug down there, put you mug up here and you
shake it all abou-
The two hobbits noticed they had spilled all their ale. Perhaps they should have finished their beer before finishing the dance...
Continuing their song: You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around-
Gandalf appears from nowhere: Then you trip and fall on your mess!
Merry and Pippin (singing): Oh, yes, that’s how it goes- then you trip and fall on your mess!! *And, trying to do the rest of the dance, they purposely fall and cause the whole inn to laugh at them.*
Gandalf: You silly little hobbits!
GtheW of Isengard



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Aragorn: I really donr understand why Gimli couldn’t have gone swimming with his tunic on.
Legolas: Just keep staring at the grass and we can pretend like this never happened.
Thaidwen Faerth of Isengard

Legolas: Gosh, was THAT the food Eowyn made for you?
Aragorn: Yeah, can you believe it? I never noticed it was alive.
Ultchuk of Isengard

Legolas: I told you not to mess with that super glue! Now how are we going to explain this to Gandalf?
Aragorn: Just keep staring at the ground and act like nothing happened!
GtheW of Isengard



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Merry: Wow, Pippin, look at Gandalf going on Shadowfax on his way to Mordor. He’s really fast!
Pippin: Yeah mon, but do you think we should have told him he’s going in the wrong direction?
Ultchuk of Isengard

Leg waxing: 10 dollars
Foot waxing: 30 dollars
The look on your friends’ faces when they’re in extreme pain: priceless
GtheW of Isengard

Merry and Pippin meet their Nintendo counterparts, Mariodoc and Luigi-grin.
Nethron of Isengard



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After their latest argument about who was in charge, Theoden and Aragorn weren’t speaking to each other again.
Grey Pilgrim of Isengard

Aragorn: Are we there yet?
Theoden: No!
Aragorn: Are we there yet?
Theoden: No!
Aragorn: Are we there yet?
Theoden: No!
Aragorn: Are we the...
Theoden: NO!!!! Ask me that one more time, and I’ll tell Arwen that you wear ’I don’t have a girl’ t-shirt underneath!!
Aragorn: ...
Maglor Seregon of Isengard

Theoden, upon seeing the great host of Isengard, screams, " Dooooomed!! We are all doomed!!!"
To which Aragorn replies, " Geez, we’re only outnumbered by what? 2, 3 thousand to 1?"
DunUinen of Isengard