Here they are! Some of the wackiest quotes to ever be collected in the wackiest place: The White Council! Typically known as home to some of Middle Earth's craziest inhabitants, is also home to some of the funniest visitors, which gives way to some of the the nuttiest conversations... you get my drift! Whether it be a judge with a rumbly tummy, a wizard with a master crayon drawing, a Vala with a hidden hobbit crime, a jealous wizard with a shrubbery fettish, or an Enigma with a philosophy on meditation- you can find that collection here!

Hold on to your pointy hats!

Compiled by El:

PG: Yeah, well I’ve only got so much spit fer polishin!

Aleluya: I was getting asleep reading the faq...(does people really reads it?How on earth they do it?).

Bearamir: ADM Ellsilla to the Bridge. Incoming communication from USS Bearjoran in your e-mailbox

WG:The slackers here El, just off in Lala land...ever been there? It nice.

El: OH MY GOD!!! THE NEWBIE TALKS LIKE BOB!!!

PG: you will find that you don’t have to insult Bob for him to slice off your head - he does that for fun. Kind of a hobby really.

Iowyth: OK.... All right.... I was tired when I started.... Now I’m dizzy. And wet

Rudhelin: LICK! tee hee hee

Iowyth: Whats going on? My pointy hat is drooping and I am guessing I have entered another dimension

Bob: Help, pray! Death knocks at my door! I can see its hideous face through the windows. It is horrible, its visage is fouler than a thousand of Wows! Thou must help me! And sorry for the double post! :-).

Bob: Wait a second, master Palamorn, let me finish my mascara. Good, now some lipstick. Ready! Now, for the show "HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP, I AM BEING KIDNAPPED BY BRUTESQUE BRUTEEES!"

Bearamir: Meep Meep!

Aleluya: Oh, and what’s that ? You’ve a message from the universe...yeah, they had leave it here in my cards...what? oh, no worries, they always do...they think I’m like a telephone or something...so here it is!

Rudhelin: I call it "The Earthy-Gross Curtal Dog NERFICON"!

Compiled by PG:

Luth: Am I late? Darn that rooster, he had the nerve to run off with the neighbor’s hens last night and was not around to wake me up!

Bearamir: Oh yes, A spanking, a spannnnnnnkinggggg..
My apologies, to one and all, merely a moment of giddiness...it has passed...

Morm: And I would also try and pronounceth thy surnameth ifeth touhadeth gotteth oneth in thy profile. Did your mother and father wish to keep you a secret ?

Compiled by Naia:

El: Find your voice
Naia: Has found El’s voice, now can’t get it to be silent

WG: Ah come on. You don’t expect me to pick up every frog do you?

Niseala: I always wanted to be... A lumberjack!! But alas! That’s not a possible kingdom so i joined the Istari

Naia: *is shorter than the average White Councillor*

Eldacar: I have to see this purple Oliphaunt!

GP: So the Shire has just gained a purple/pink/brown oliphaunt the size of a german shepherd?

The Abhorred: I hope this doesn`t displease anyone, and if it does, I don`t care.

A few more El grabbed:

Naia: I gave up Mordor for this?

El: ERU SAVE MY BATHROOM!!!

Rudhelin: Does this mean I can go home now? I really miss my green banana palace and ... Oh! did you know they don’t serve all-cotton squeenchie shakes here! Did you! It’s so ... uncivilized!

Derom: Everyone grab their possessions and ruuun! Elder Istari first! Run or we’ll all be toadled, yuckied and smellyfied!

El: Oh man, that’s a whole new brand of weirdness...

Rudhelin:Yea, we all know how many pairs of underwear LeBob can ruin in a day! Bet you’d like to see us all dealing with LeBob after his third “oops”, now wouldn’t you?

Starbreeze: *returns from rolling in a Mordorian cowpat (literally) in order to become Orthanc’s smelliest wizard, and treads on several toads*

PG: Uhh, the tree huggers are still ensconced in Valinor. We are going to bring Tulkas out in full war regalia. That should send em screaming.

El: Hiya Weegee... Nice toe see you today...

Naia: Well now that you three are done slime wrestling... Perhaps we should begin cleaning this up?

Elen Lotke: they pull it out of their pointy hats..

Tolman: Sorry to break this to you, El, but if he doesn’t dissolve that spell, we’re going to be toadled!"

Bob: Perhaps you would like to borrow some of my eucalyptus bath gel, which has an amazingly soothing effect on your karmatic aura, or at least the label tells likely Oprah-Winfrey-style nonsense.

Rudhelin: Do you know how many little cheeses you orphaned you … you … BOOGERLIPS!”

Minstrell: And if you push us too far, we’ll let you feel one clapping hand, hehehe. Can’t see anything wrong with meditating or pondering on a koan, as a wizard, I do that, but that’s a whole other topic. So I hereby add Being able to ponder on mysteries and riddles, unlike any other ME being, and meditating till my pointy hat falls off.

Luth: our clothing suits any occasion, weather, and our cloaks can double as a tent in a pinch.

PG: will keep an eye out as well, two when I can spare them.
Ferruccio: Hey! That’s my line!

El: *shakes head sadly at PG, the future pineapple*

Luth: hmmm, is the witch king taken?

El: Gack!! Ewww!! Froggies!! Slimy!! HEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!

Compiled by Wizard Gandalf:

Elen Sila: "Aww come on guys, let me out of here! This hobbit’s feet are making me nauseous!"

Elen Sila: "Umm guys, this might not be the best time to tell you this, but I left the key to my office in Orthanc back there in the tupperware prison"

Le Bob: "Ouch, that one struck like a meteor!"

Pip Reonyea: "* takes El’s dirty look, washes it, and hands it back, scribbling about how the prosecution has no respect for the Press*"

Collecthor: "(Note to self: memory definitely slipping; stop by gingko biloba tree on way home to Fangorn.)"

Bearamir: "There’s a "real" world out there? No, say it isn’t so..."

Bearamir: "I hope that means you don’t mind if I re-decorate the office...I seem to have had a little misadventure with a bottle of Telperion Mist and a rather large mallet."
WG: "Telperion Mist? Do you have any more? That stuff is better than a screaming Ringwraith.*shakes out of daze* A large Mallet? Ah go ahead, Won’t be the first time its happened."

Compiled by Luth:

Lirulin: Jeez, no offense, but you two are really blissfully oblivious, aren’t you....

Le Bob: Also the dreaded fiend (yes, fiend, no friend) Durin the Deathless will not be forgiven for his desecration of the cookies box.

Lynda: *watches conversation between the dwarf, the istari and Le Bob can not decide who to wack upside the head with her trusty rubber chicken first*.

PG: Le_Nob: A Vala cannot be cleansed by a Maia. Oh, you’ve got something in yer beard.

Vivienne: Do you have the sins in a box or something? I may need them. Do you sell them?

PG: I fear I, the great God Orome need cleansing from the wise Saruman and humbly ask it of you. Unable to contain my dislike for certain wooly-footed, party-mongering, pipe-smoking, bubblegum-chewing, legolas-loving, wood-worshipping, over-married, overfed, under-mannered, ale-swilling, chatty-Cathy, Sam and Frodo-cloning, curly-headed, sand-hole rats, I kicked one into a pool of hot lava in Mordor. I am (somewhat) sorry for this and ashamed (sort of) of my behavior and ask to be applaude...um cleansed

Elen Sila: The court also orders that councellor Pipeweed share her cheese sandwich with the court, before the judge’s tummy starts to rumble!

PG: <Useless Oromë edit - Yes, but in 1984, the Balrog left the mines to see Sixteen Candles and was rendered senseless by the adolescent humor of John Hughes.>

Lynda: *Lynda skips in while clapping coconuts together* sorry I couldn’t find a real horse. *she pretends to dismount the imaginary horse* I say he is guilty! And Binkey says he is guilty as well! By the way... who is on trial?? *Lynda ducks as a mallet whippes past her head*

Compiled by Elen_Lotke:

Luth: *peers suspiciously at the hobbit* have you ever been a shrub? oh, sorry, i must have mistaken you for someone else. bubbly goes straight to my head!

Narthilion: Am I a cheesecake yet? Darn, oh well, I guess I’ll have to be a little more patient

PG: How does one remove icky soup-stains from one’s beard?

Luth: El has a beard? I thought it was just a bad hair day.

Le Bob: Worry not, master Mithrandir! Surely, the Shire will not be invaded by wrinkles!

Compiled by Narthilion:

Narthalion: Where is the CHEESECAKE?!? I must hungrily devour the cheescake... or maybe a nice pie. And can the cheesecake or pie have my name associated with it somehow? Please, oh great and mighty Bob.
Elen Lotke: i love cheesecake.. Le Bob.. are we turning someone into one or will you bake it yourself?

Vermithrax: If I joined the White Council, would you let me be a dragon?
Elen Sila: Would you be a nice dragon? Would you guard the garden from garden gnomes? Would you let that donkey from Shrek ride on your back?
Vermithrax: Heck yeah! Except the donkey part.. just kidding. I’d also deffend the White Council and act like a civilized wizard and behave properly.
Elen Sila: Well then I suppose we’ve aquired a... dragon/wizard?
Protoguy: *Donkey walks by* Ah man! Denied the power of flight.

Narthalion: *See’s El’s nerf gun and thinks to self "don’t be evil" ... Pop a nerf ball hits El in the head and Narth runs from the room* What... I couldn’t help it!
Elen Sila: Narth- WG and I are currently discussing limiting the use of nerf weaponry in the council to only newbie officers and RAs... you’re making a strong case

Hawk: Hawk: Aye!... Now there is something El wanted me to do... *thinks hard momentarily* ahh whatever, lets go get some beers.
Hawk: The Voice of Reason: Sounds like a plan!

Rudhelin: (OOC) Well, it’s me … It’s a few years old, but basically the same (minus a few new grey hairs!) … Oh, if you are curious about the blonde in the lower left, it’s my ex <shudder> Don’t ask, long story …
Protoguy: Oohh, a long story. Yeah, got plenty of those. I thought maybe you put a blonde wig on Buffie *shudders*

 

Like what you see here? Want to indulge in a little more craziness?
Click HERE for page two!
Click HERE for page three!
Click HERE for page four!

Had enough? Ahhh we don't blame ya... Go on, RETURN TO NORMALITY!