Sauron, the glorious ruler of the realm of Mordor had, by a stroke of bad luck during a battle, which 
ended a long and tiring siege of his stronghold Barad Dur, lost his precious ring of power.

Isildur, the son and heir of his worst enemy, Elendil, had stolen it by viciously cutting it from 
Sauron’s hand while he was lying on the ground, unconscious and defenseless. But not before Sauron had 
managed to kill bad old Elendil and his ally, Gil-Galad the Elf.
 
Sauron, being severely weakened as an after effect from that battle and the loss of his ring, had to go
 into hiding for quite some time to rebuild his strength and regain his power.

Soon, though, Isildur received the well-deserved punishment for his despicable behaviour (sometimes Eru
 is just!). While being attacked by a band of Orcs he was slain by their arrows and lost the ring in the 
river Anduin, through which he had tried to escape in typical cowardly fashion. Unfortunately, the ring 
could not be retrieved and returned to it’s rightful owner then and a very long time elapsed before it turned up again.

Several millennia passed and by accident a strange smallish creature, by the name of Gollom, living by 
the banks of the river, got his hands on the ring, took an intense liking to it immediately and brought 
it into hiding with him to a deep cave under the Misty Mountains. It pobably would have been rotting 
there for all eternity, if not, by sheer luck, another small creature of the hitherto unknown race of the
 Hobbits, going by the name of Bilbo Baggins, had found it there while groping around, being lost in the
 dark tunnels. He thus saved the ring from being forgotten and took it home to the faraway land of The 
Shire, from whence he had come. Little did he know what great impact this seemingly insignificant action
 would be having on the history of Middle Earth.

Now Gollum, being totally obsessed by the ring, couldn’t get over it’s loss and left his hideout in 
search of it. By now Sauron The Great had regained much of his former strength and power and had 

rightfully taken possession again of his old home in the Grand Tower of Barad Dur in the realm of 
Mordor. But he was still lamenting the loss of his precious ring and somehow got wind of the recent 
incidents. So he sent out some of his servants all over the known lands of Middle Earth with the orders 
to find and bring back the One Ring to him. Luckily, some of them came upon the creature Gollum, captured 
him and took him back to Barad Dur for questioning. The stupid, stubborn little critter could have saved 
himself a lot of pain and trouble by talking rightaway, but by the wonderful skills of the master 
torturers of Barad Dur the truth was gotten out of him eventually. In this way Sauron learned the names 
of the ring’s finder and of the country where he lived, got out his extensive maps of ME and books of 
lore, and managed to locate the small, remote area of The Shire. Since he was now getting quite restless 
and wanted his little treasure back as soon as possible, he sent out his speediest and most trusted 
servants, the revered Nazgul, also known as The Nine, to fetch it for him.

Well, that shouldn’t have proved too difficult a task, but bad luck prevailed, after all. Several 
unfortunate things then happened more or less at the same time.



First, one Aragorn, son of Arathorn, actually something of a homeless vagabond, but claiming to be the 
rightful heir of that villain Isildur over many generations (not that it really mattered much any 
more), thus one of those accursed Numenoreans, came out of hiding. He had fallen in love with a 
pretty little Elf-maiden (the harmless type, not like that horrible, perilous, evil Elf-witch 
Galadriel of Lorien) and had gotten the idea into his head that he would win the throne of Gondor for
 himself, in order to prove to his future daddy-in-law, the illustrious Elf Elrond, that he is worthy of his daughter’s hand.
 Imagine the nerve this guy had!


Around the same time that meddlesome Wizard, Gandalf the Grey, who had been sent to Middle Earth by those
 accursed Valar and who was always trying to sabotage Sauron’s great achivements, started interfering again.
 He wanted to, by all means, prevent Sauron from getting back what was rightfully his and ganged up with that ambitious Aragorn, 
finding a very useful ally in him.

After all, Aragorn, knowing that the One Ring would would increase Sauron’s power considerably,
 wanted to, in case he managed to gain the throne of Gondor,
avoid future trouble with his immediate neighbour, 
correctly fearing that such a situation would be way over his head. Now Gandalf, being the clever, scheming Wizard he is,
 had already made friends with the Shire folk a long
 
time ago and won the trust of those unsuspecting creatures, since he was correctly guessing that
 the found item was indeed Sauron’s lost treasure. After confirming his suspicions by means of a brief test involving fire,
he hastily sent the younger cousin of the ringfinder, Frodo Baggins (since Billbo himself was now too old for such a task),
 off into the Wild Lands with a few friends, just in the nick of time, 
with the instruction to get the ring to Elrond’s house in Rivendell.

Gandalf himself, though, shunning the toils and dangers of the long road, preferred to ride swiftly to Isengard and pay his old pal Saruman
(another Wizard who had been sent to ME by the Valar shortly before Gandalf), a visit and relax in the luxury of Orthanc,
while those poor innocent Hobbits sluggishly toiled along with the burden of the ring.
 Gandalf had, however, taken some precautions, by hiring the aforementioned Aragorn,
 who was by then in on the plan, as guide and bodyguard for them.
Thus it happened that the Hobbits escaped the Nazgul, who after their long and tiring journey to the remote land of The Shire and 
unable to find the little group 
of travellers with the treasure, were 
forced to return empty-handed to Mordor. To make matters worse, they were, while trying to cross the 
river Bruinen, viciously waylaid by Elrond, who worked his nasty elven magic on the river, thereby trying to drown The Nine.
They barely escaped with their "lives", but unfortunately their trusted mordorian steeds were killed. 
Quite a loss, since those horses had been hand-reared by the Mouth of Sauron himself and were the most highly prized of their kind in the Motherland.



Elrond, who was also in on Gandalf’s vicious plot, had already sent out messages and called representatives of all of Mordor’s foes
 together to join him for an urgent council at his residence.During this council it was decided that, in order to keep Sauron’s treasured
possession from him forever,someone should travel to Mount Orodruin and destroy the ring by throwing it into the 
mountain’s fire (as we all know, the only possible way to unmake it). Since no one else was willing 
to do so, they forced the poor Hobbit Frodo to take this task on himself again,
 even though he had been looking forward to returning to his comfortable home in the Shire by now.
 His loyal Hobbit companions willingly agreed to accompany him further, but perceiving that the unexperienced little creatures would 
probably perish on the more dangerous way beyond Rivendell very soon, Elrond managed to convince some 
of the more valiant attendants of the council to go with them, by promising them rich rewards and fame. 
We all know that such promises from an Elf’s mouth are just empty talk (never trust an Elf!), but greed is a great driving force. 
So, an Elf, Legolas son of King Thranduil of Mirkwood, a dwarf, Gimli son of Gloin and Boromir son of Denethor, 
that good-for-nothing dotard, the Steward of Gondor, agreed to join 
up with them. Aragorn, of course, was going anyway, since he had nothing to loose, but everything to 
gain, should their little plot succeed. So the Fellowship of The Ring was formed, a gang of rebellious miscreants. 


Fortunately, meanwhile, the Honourable Saruman, a sensible Wizard with the right mind, who had found 
the correct way and gone over to Sauron’s side in time, perceived the evil intentions of Gandalf and
 preventively took him prisoner. In good time finding out the truth about the plot by using his superior 
skills of wizardry on his lesser colleague, he then sent his trusted Uruk-Hai warriors after the 
fellowship. There was still some hope that the gang would be captured by the Orcs of Moria, thus saving 
some time, but they narrowly escaped and managed to find refuge for a short while in the Woods of 
Lorien, under the protection of that accursed Elf-witch Galadriel. However, they had to continue on 
their quest eventually, but had not reckoned with the foresight of Saruman the Wise, being completely 
taken by surprise when they were intercepted by Saruman’s Uruk-Hai troop, while stealthily trying to 
cross the river Anduin at Amon Hen. A brief battle ensued there,but in the end, due to the superior 
fighting skills of the Uruks, the entire gang of rebels was taken prisoner and carried off to Orthanc,
 to be kept safe together with the initiator of the plot, Gandalf. After receiving message of their 
capture, Sauron sent a large company of orcs under the leadership of his most trusted lieutenant, the
 Mouth of Sauron himself, to get the prisoners and had them transferred to his more secure facilities at Barad Dur. 


The One Ring had, of course, been safely retrieved by Saruman and sent speedily to Barad Dur by special
 messenger service, to the great joy of our Lord Sauron, who was thus, after millennia of waiting, 
finally united with his dearest treasure again, and now able to fulfill his dream of bringing all of ME under his protective dominion.


The detailed questioning of each of the prisoners took quite some time. After all, this was not a 
simple matter, and, naturally, some harsher means had to be inflicted on the more obstinate members of 
the gang. Here, again, the skills of the master torturers of Barad Dur proved invaluable. Needless to
 say that, eventually, all of the conspirators confessed to their heinous crimes and a date was set for 
the beginning of the trial. The Honourable Saruman, after his heroic deeds in the service of our Great
 Lord Sauron, having been appointed the High Judge of Mordor, was called to preside over the trial, which turned out to be quite lengthy.



There is no need for the details here, but these are the sentences, which the members of the rebel gang
 received for their crimes:
GANDALF, formerly called The Grey, was found guilty of high treason, was stripped of his rank, degraded
 to Gandalf the Mauve, and - being an immortal Maia - after serving a sentence of 1000 
years of hard labour in the Mines of Moria under close supervision of a Balrog, was transferred to 
the Grey Havens under heavy guard, and sent packing back into the West by means of an elven ship.

ARAGORN was unmasked as being an impostor and dowry-hunter, was found guilty of high treason,
 vagrancy (having no visible means of support), possession of dangerous weapons without a license and 
excessive cruelty to orcs. After admitting to having taken the leadership of the rebellious gang in Gandalf’s absence, 
the Right Honourable High Judge Saruman declared him incorrigible and in order to 
keep the peaceful folk of ME safe from such a dangerous individual, Aragorn was sentenced to life 
imprisonment in the deepest dungeons of Barad Dur, under close guard of some most trusted Uruk-Hai. 
Needless to say, he was never heard of again.

BOROMIR was found guilty of being an accessory to treason, possession of dangerous weapons without a 
license, as well as unnecessary cruelty to orcs. He was sentenced to 60 years imprisonment at the Tower of Cirith Ungol,
 where he underwent "sensitivity" training sessions, to help him overcome his 
racist attitude and intense dislike of Orcs. Those sessions did not, however, show the desired effect, even up to the end of his term. 
Upon release he was therefore sent to the famed re-education camp in the Dead Marshes, where, alas, he was overcome by old age and died,
 before he could be 
rehabilitated as a full member of society.


LEGOLAS the Elf was also found guilty of being an accessory to treason and possession of dangerous 
weapons without a license. The unkind behaviour towards Orcs of this relative youngster was kindly
 excused by him being influenced through those aforementioned elements and was not fully taken into 
consideration for his sentence. He therefore received the comparatively mild sentence of 300 years hard labour in the fields beyond the Sea of Nurnen,
 where he also had to undergo "sensitivity" training sessions.
 Upon his release he appeared to be cured of his previous deviational behaviour and was allowed to return home to his father with the warning that if
 he were found associating again with such
 malcontents in the future, he would be declared a "PINS" (person in need of supervision) and would be placed in an orcish foster home.


GIMLI the dwarf was found guilty of being an accessory to treason and possession of dangerous weapons 
without a license as well. His excessive animosity towards Orcs could, however, not be excused and he received the harsh sentence of 150 years
 of hard labour in the hot and sunny deserts of Harad. That would very likely have been the end of this character.
 His story, though, is one of success and with a happy ending: Being a hardy Dwarf he became the most famous labourer in the desert prison camp 
and received many privileges for his good work and disciplined behaviour. Among these were occasional visits to a nearby army training camp,
 where he was, upon his request, allowed to 
participate in weapons training. His great skill with the battle axe was soon noticed and, in time, he was befriended by the commanding officer, a high ranking Haradrim who, on his next trip to Barad 
Dur, put in a good word for Gimli the Dwarf. Sauron, perceiving some potential in this prisoner, allowed for his transfer to Mordor, where he was released under parole, with the condition that he was
 not to leave the realm of Mordor. Upon recommendation from his Haradrim friend, Gimli was allowed to join the army, where he soon overcame his animosity towards orcs.
 Thus Gimli the dwarf had found his true vocation, was fully rehabilitated into society, disowned his father and became a good 
citzen of the Motherland. In time he even rose up to become one of the most trusted and high ranking officers in Sauron’s glorious army.
 His friendship with some of the highest ranking Uruk-Hai became legendary and many songs were sung about their heroic deeds together.

THE HOBBITS, being considered mere puppets in the hands of Gandalf and Aragorn, were acquitted of the 
charges of being accessories to treason. However, as a precautionary measure they were all together
 placed in a re-education program, designed to treat their anti-social tendencies, as well as their 
abnormal eating habits, in a special high altitude institution located at the slopes of the Morgai, above the tree line of the forests of Ithilien.
 Being highly adaptable creatures, they were soon 
considered fully rehabilitated and allowed to return to their homeland, The Shire, where they became fervent preachers of the True Way in the service of our Great Lord Sauron.


Thus another vicious rebellion (actually the most serious one in the history of Mordor), initiated by 
the devious Gandalf, had been beaten down, before it could spread all over ME, and peace under the wise rule of our Great Lord Sauron prevailed.

Lastly, one more character needs to be mentioned here: The ringfinder, Bilbo Baggins of The Shire, will forever be honoured in Mordor for finding the One Ring and saving it from falling into oblivion. a 15 
feet tall life-like statue of him was erected in the lobby of Barad Dur in memory of this unforgettable Hobbit. The inscription on it’s base is composed of the words:

BILBO BAGGINS OF THE SHIRE, REVERED FINDER OF THE ONE RING, ACCIDENTAL SAVIOUR OF ME,
 FOREVER BOUND TO THE GLORIOUS HISTORY OF MORDOR. 

Tragically, he never lived to see this monument of his unexpected fame.


                         - The End -


Written by Bashrat The Bloody Handed (inspired by Mrs. Maggot, a Hobbit of The Shire)