In a desperate effort to open a victorious front in their hopeless campaign against the forces of Mordor, the deluded strategists of the Free Peoples, hatching their seditious plots ever at a safe distance, have proclaimed the liberation of the Northern Waste. While this accusation of such an invasion - an invasion made by the West without provocation from our Dark Lord - is met with feigned ignorance in the ramshackle shantytowns which pass for capitals among the rebel hierarchy (i.e. Minas Tirith, Rivendell, etc...) recent military dispatches suggest that their bemused indifference is due to an ephemeral victory.

The frozen wasteland of Forodwaith, a region of no strategic significance, is nevertheless held by a Mordor military mission in an effort to show The Eye. While an early Spring thaw proved unexpectedly fortuitous for the rabble of the West, which they irreverently dubbed Operation Here’s Mud in Your Eye, a successful rearguard action by our glorious forces stabilized the front with minimal casualties, then regained the territory previously lost. The units involved were rewarded with one of the highest commendations: a serenade by the Barad-Dur glee club, The Mouths of Sauron.

Report filed by Slave 2 the 1 Ring