Hans Holbein the Younger
From Retrokat - see Picture Credits

A hotly argued question which has been circulating Middle Earth for some time is this: Do Balrogs Have Wings?

Deciding to research this matter for myself, I thought the simplest way would be to see if I myself (Balrog that I am) had wings. While I was at it, did I have a tail? Unfortunately I could not crane my neck enough to see my back. Using a mirror also proved to be no good as the mirror melted as soon as I got within ten feet of it.

Later, at Cirith Gorgor, I was sparring with a young and reckless Rohirrim stable hand. He pointed out that I could not fly, and emptily threatened to carve a tail into my backside. That solved the puzzle of whether I had a tail or not, but I was still in the dark about the wings issue.

Today, I was drinking a Screaming Ringwraith in the pub, munching on elf fingers and mulling over my problem, when I was joined by my friends Grishnak and Sharrásh. After some small talk, they both agreed that I did have wings. Good, now that dilemma was also settled.

Yet having wings doesn’t seem to be much use for me at the moment, because as far as I know, I can’t control them directly, certainly can’t flap them and definitely can’t fly. And no, before you ask, I will not jump off the top of Barad-dûr to test that theory.

Researched by Seralqua