From Lord Kyl's Clipart - see Picture Credits

Here is yet another helpful hint from your denizen of Mordor, Grishnak. Unofficial, self-proclaimed, expert on the wildlife in Mordor. We now turn our attention to one of the rarest denizens of Mordor, the mighty Balrog.

Only the Nazgûl conjures up more emotions of fear and dread than this creature. Woe to any traveler who is unfortunate enough to come across the path of this monster of Mordor! Hopefully, my unique ... insight into this creature will help you avoid such a encounter.

The Balrog is a solitary creature of fire that dwells only in the deepest pits of Mordor. I initially reasoned that they lived in these pits in order to be alone, were extremely territorial of said pits and protected their territory against all intruders.

No creature has ever been seen within an area known to house a Balrog. But the truth of the matter is simple ... they are made of fire!!! What creature, in its right state of mind, wants to be a neighbor to a 20ft tall, walking mountain of flame ... armed with a flaming sword, a whip, and a bad attitude to boot? I mean, they would have to be nuts right?

My only advice to you, should you ever come across a Balrog is to ... well there is none. You are a goner! If you should find yourself in the deepest pits of Mordor, and suddenly the air temperature becomes something akin to standing on the sun, then know a Balrog has found you. Your vacation trip to Mordor has just ended, and consider yourself a moron for being in that pit to begin with!!!!

Written by Grishnak, "Unofficial, self-proclaimed expert on the wildlife in Mordor".