Whilst enjoying the sulphurous fumes of the countryside on a few days' R&R, I came upon a group of four Hobbits loitering at the Cross-roads. They seemed agitated by my presence and, when I asked what they were waiting for, at first they were not willing to reply.

After a bit of gentle prodding, one of the hobbits rudely knocked my spear aside and said they had come to the crossroads to sell their souls to the devil. I enquired if they meant our all-terrible Great Lord because, if they did, I would be happy to escort them to meet him.

Further questioning revealed they were musicians and, in an attempt to improve their "licks" (their word, not mine), they had decided to sell off their souls. As I had always thought soul was a requirement to play music, I was, needless to say, surprised by their actions.

Some questions are raised by this event:
1. Are Hobbit musicians so unskilled that they need to take this drastic step?
2. Who is this person to whom they are so happy to sell off bits of themselves?
3. How much of a profit is he making and should the Mordor Office of Taxation be instructed to look into it
4. Perhaps these musicians could be "acquired" by our entertainment establishments, so that they can then lose even more substantial body parts, free of charge.

I remain, as always, your most loyal minion,
Pushgork