(may also be know as the Ered Lithui,
but I shall not utter in that language here...)
Good for people who enjoy: Ash, minions, ash, death by ash, ash...I
think you see where we're heading with this...
Not so suitable (but why should that stop you) for: Free peoples,
people with a general dislike of ash...and minions...and Mordor...
The Ash Mountains form the northern border of Mordor and the
picturesque setting of mountainous territory is enough to inspire
fear and loathing in even the nicest of minions. The Ash tinted by
the red light of Mordor creates the perfect Mordorian atmosphere
of evil.
Although painful death is commonplace here, do not let that put
you off, death is quite a frequent activity. It is highly
recommended when visiting to at least creep into one of the numerous
spider caves dotted about the area, to watch their disturbing
feeding habits; you may even be offered the opportunity to be
tortured alive, or eaten.
It has become quite a trend these days to ski upon the treacherously
steep cliffs of the mountains, and this is not to be discouraged;
although we do warn you that if you have a fondness for keeping your
head safely attached to your body you will invest in razor-edged
skis. Remember a nasty-looking skier is a safer skier...
If you choose to follow the mountains round to where they join
with the Mountains of Shadow, you will be able to visit the vast
tourist attraction of the Morannon, or Black Gate; the front door
of Mordor (we discourage ringing the bell).
In all of the areas mentioned above it is perfectly acceptable
to perform unlawful acts such as biting heads off other tourists,
pillaging, burning and general rabble-like behaviour. But that doesn't
mean someone will not do something about it; (normally, biting your
own head off, or in the case of the rare variety of toothless trolls
found in the area, squashing you to a pulp.)
written by
Anonymouse,Mordoreporter for Angmar Press (AP)
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