From the Plaza Archives
"SAURON AND THE RED-NOSED NAZGUL"
Little kids and LotR fans everywhere will be horrified when the PBS special documentary is released.
Osse
Sauron was known as the ’Lord of Gifts’. Lived in a place that nobody visited. Surrounded by wrecked Elves. And had nine winged servants, Nazgul. Who does this sound like? Well, Santa, for one, lives in North Pole, surrounded by wrecked Elves (would any ’real’ Elves want to spend all year making toys for kids?) - except that we now know the Nazgul as Reindeer.
Gilraen
Ok, it is funny, and the title sure is catchy *sings to her puzzled cat "Nazgul the red nosed reindeer..." *
Sauron ----> Santa, hummm, yes, you can see how the name evolved trough the ages
Formenos
So Sauron Annatar is actually Sauron Claus ? Thats hilarious....I love the idea...and you have to keep in mind that before the Vala trashed it, his base of operations was Angband, which was at the North Pole !
Skandronan
Wow. I would have never thought of that. You’re right about the wrecked elves. Making toys!! Now who would of thought of that?
Anna the great
That is so wierd. Elves making toys?! BAAHH!!!!
Lorelei
Then one foggy mordor day
Sauron came to say
Ringwraiths with your robes so black
Won’t you find the shire tonight . . .
Tin-Lizzie
But what would you call the Nazgul? Because each reindeer had their own name. And what, did the witchking have a bad cold and have a red nose? "Hath!Hath!Hath!(puny attempt to laugh eviley)come whit usth Fwodo! give usth the wing! Ahh, ahh, choooooo!anyone have a titthue?"
OpalEyedRanger
I just hope that all wrecked elves, those that live in lands of Mordor or the North Pole, have proper labor laws.
I guess Santa can rule the world, and the equivilant of trolls would be the (shield your eyes children) the fake Santas at the mall that promise you stuff that your parents now have to spend a fortune on so that their little Jill or Timmy can believe in Santa for one more year.
Eohdwyn
Sauron as Santa? Why, the blasphemy! Actually, it makes alot of sense . . . Too much sense! *shudders* Hey Tinuviel, that was really funny! And I could just see Sauron harnessing up the Nazgul to his sleigh . . . "Stop Grumbling! It’s just one night a year! " And can you see them flying through the night, black robes flapping?
Ohhhhh! I just thought of something! You know the song . . . "you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I’m telling you why, . . . He sees you when your sleeping! He know when your awake! He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake . . ." Does that not sound eerily like the powers of the Eye of Sauron? Man, I’m getting more and more convinced, . . . Now every year at Christmas time I’ll peer warily at the Santas in the mall and wonder . . .
Lorelei
Oh my gosh Eowyn! you are right! I never even thought about that part.
No wonder christmas turns into a free for all brawl. It’s just the poor easily influenced humans fighting over something precious for their kids. it all makes sense now! ahhh! santa sauron!
Anna Greenleaf
WOW you guys really have something here... the Elves, the ’eye of Sauron’ thing in the song, the stress and human weakness of consumerism.... goodness me this is rather worrying!! Never again will I accept presents from the evil Santauron. We had better go in armies to the malls and extinguish his trolls...
Eohdwyn
And to think all this time it was really Sauron! How do you think he got so fat? Everytime I see a picture of Santa I’m going to check for that missing finger . . .
Miss_Evenstar
hahahaha!! That is very funny, and also makes way to much sense! Well we are on to him now!! Santauron’s cover is blown! Destroy the Dolls of power!
Medieval_Ara
If sauron was santa then we would all be getting bones in our little christmas stockings in stead of all those lovely toys!
Eohdwyn
Oh!! I have it! For his punishment the Valar enslaved him to make toys for all the little kiddies! Ohh, that would explain everything! And as his last act of rebellion he took some elves and twisted them into the short little green thing they are! I still want to know how he got so fat! Or is that just propaganda?
Osse
I’m scared. What have I started? I’m never, never, going to the pub again . . .
I think if at some point Santauron was allowed to take a body again, after being without one for so long, it’s only natural that he would become a glutton - hence the fatness. And it’s true - this obsessive, all-conquering desire for presents at Christmas can only lead us into evil... I just want to know which of the Nazgul are forced to be Dancer and Prancer
Lorelei
at least it’s a long time till Christmas.
so what do you leave out for santauron? milk and cookies? would he eat that? maybe i’ll poison the tray i leave out for him this year.
it also now makes sense that he comes down the chimney. it’s all dirty and sooty.
Tin-Lizzie
And poisoning the cookies and milk is a good idea! Do you know any poison that will kill a Maia?
Rothinzel
Hmm, Nazgul names...
Well there’s Dasher and Smasher and Crasher and ...? somebody help me out here, what’s an evil word taht rhymes with vixen? ok, maybe this wasn’t as clever as i thought it would be...
Sare
He’s making a hit-list, his checking it twice, gonna find out who’s dead if they’re nice...Santauron is coming to town......
Eohdwyn
There was Basher and Crasher and Smasher and (can’t think of a good one!) , Slasher and Hacker and Smacker and (think of one for here, too!), but the evilest of them all, was the Witch-king, . . . Okay, my mind has gone out. Can you think of any more?
Anna Greenleaf
Yes, that’s why he made the pretend reindeer names (the ones he blackmailed parents into teaching their children) all sweet and sugary like Dancer and Prancer. But now we know he had an ulterior motive. Bloody Santa I never did trust him....
Pippeness
You wonder why when you ask Santa for toys you hardly ever get them?? its just the evil Sauron trying to make you sad. and what about Mrs Claus??? well she’s welcome to him. . but who is she??? and i’m guessing he likes milk cookies and beer and nazgul like carrots???
Anna Greenleaf
Hahahah I can just imagine the Nazgul eating carrots... sniff sniff crunch sniff sniff hehee it makes them be able to see in the dark... haha it might turn them pink too (as in flamingoes and carotene, in case that sounded obscure). Where does the chimney analogy come in? Maybe they remind him of Barad-Dur?
meliadrian
Sauron the evil Maia
Had a very golden ring
And whenever he wore it
You would have to call him king
All of the other races
called him by a different name
they didn’t want the dark lord
to turn them into slaves again
Then one wretched battle day,
during the seige of Barad-dur,
Isildur raised his sword to fight
and cut Sauron’s finger off with just one swipe!
Then all of Middle Earth loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Isildur, son of Elendil,
you’ll go down in history!
Treyan Andune
oh dear....*falls over laughing* I found the perfect picture for this thread . . .
 
BACK
Editor's note: Really, need I say more?
If you come across any errors in the Kingdom Pages, email the rulers.
We welcome your suggestions! |
<< Fanatics Plaza
