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  1. Silendra's Avatar
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    #1



    things to remember
    1) Narv is not Narg
    2) Narv is not Nav
    3) Narv is not Narvi Jr but the father of Narvi Jr by means of an amazing machine, the help of Narg and the willing motherhood of me
    4) Narv is married to Scea
    5) Ears demands to be treasurer
    6) all especial Narvi quotes and artwork to be collected here
    7) enjoy my banner, enjoy it damn you!!!!!!


    non prohibere me.




  2. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #2
    I do. I am the treasurer.

    You forgot
    8. Narv is Ears' lil bro.


  3. Narv's Avatar
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    #3
    9. narv is a very happy lad at this time
    10. NO LOOKING AT THAT CREDIT CARD NUMBER PLEASE THANKS
    11. narv is not narv, he his heartgiggles
    12. i forgot

  4. Silendra's Avatar
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    #4

  5. Narv's Avatar
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    #5
    oooooh listing all my achievements in order of recency i see, very official-fan-clubby, good work. allow me to join in:

    um

    Narv finds the Caption Contest!!!!!!!

    uhhh

    Narv demonstrates tremendous roleplaying ability in the Training Grounds!!!!!

    and.... that's about it

    good list though

  6. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #6
    I cannot find your hand. I searched all through archive 3 isengard looking for it aswell.

  7. Narv's Avatar
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    #7
    why would my hand be in archive 3 isengard you crazy piece of RIDIULOUS

    i assume you mean this hand, my left





    or possibly my right, which has a hat


  8. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #8
    - YAY!!!! You have your hand! I had not seen the one with the hat. How prettiful it looks.

  9. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #9


    loved that hand...mine wants a hat too!!!
    That makes thumb-war much more fun!

  10. Nav's Avatar
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    #10
    Narv has a fan club? I'm in...

    Let's not forget this delicious thread...


  11. Silendra's Avatar
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    #11
    - Narv criticises my imagery
    Narv creates the Funtime Express


    non prohibere me.




  12. Region's Avatar
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    #12
    <= I miss this smilie.

    But yeah, Narv = cool!


  13. Scea's Avatar
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    #13
    Sweet, it's like the hand of God, only it's the hand of Narv, which makes it far rarer and way cooler. Would that be considered blasphemous?

  14. Narv's Avatar
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    #14
    no no scea, as long as you make it clear that my hand is far cooler than God's then it's ok by me if you compare the twopeople have blasphemed against me before, but i think you're safe in this instance.

    ok region so a guy hitting another guy with a hammer is less than or equal to you missing the smilie, and I equal cool, and since my essenceis the equivalent of a cool guy combined with a guyhitting another guy of lesser cool with a hammer, Narvequals cooltimess ,therefore equals1 since it has no effect on the Narv equals cool equation, therefore since your missing of the smilie is greater than itmust benon-zero, therefore me divided by your missing of the smilie is a real number, meaning that Narv over Missing a Smilie is real, meaning I'm really over missing that smilie, i.e. i used to miss that smilie but really i'm over it, therefore Narvis greater thanmissing the smilie since i overpowered it, and thus Narv divided by missing the smilie is less than 1, meaning that (Narv divided by missing the smilie) times coolis less thancool, meaning that if i let missing the smilie divide me, i.e. occupy part of my mind and divide my brain into different lines of thought, and then try to be cool, it will in fact diminish the abstract quality of coolness itself, and since i equal cool, i too will become less, and thus i must never think about the smilie again and that is what you trying to warn me, isthat what you're getting at? i thought so.

  15. Narv's Avatar
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    #15
    NO THAT'S WRONG


    ok region so a guy hitting another guy with a hammer is less than or equal to you missing the smilie, and I equal cool, and since my essenceis the equivalent of a cool guy combined with a guyhitting another guy of lesser cool with a hammer, Narvequals cooltimess ,therefore equals1 since it has no effect on the Narv equals cool equation, therefore since your missing of the smilie is greater than itmust benon-zero, therefore me divided by your missing of the smilie is a real number, meaning that Narv over Missing a Smilie is real, meaning I'm really over missing that smilie, i.e. i used to miss that smilie but really i'm over it, therefore Narvis greater thanmissing the smilie since i overpowered it, and thusmissing the smilie divided by Narv is less than 1, meaning that (missing the smilie divided by Narv) times coolis less thancool, meaning that if i divide the missing of the smilie,i.e. by missing it along with you so that the burden of missing is split between us, and then try to be cool, it will in fact diminish the abstract quality of coolness itself, and since i equal cool, i too will become less, and thus i must never think about missing the smilie again and that is what you trying to warn me, isthat what you're getting at? i thought so.


    that's better

  16. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #16
    Have you always been this spammy?

  17. Narv's Avatar
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    #17
    i think i answered that in an earlier post. i repeat:

    Narv demonstrates tremendous roleplaying ability in the Training Grounds!!!!!

  18. Alkthoniel's Avatar
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    #18
    ooh the hammer violence smilie! Happy times

    I'm not even going to try and make sense of Narv. He makes no sense.

    ... so what do we get if we join the club?


  19. Silendra's Avatar
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    #19
    a piece of Narv

    non prohibere me.




  20. Alkthoniel's Avatar
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    #20
    Can I have the thumb with the hat on? That there thumb got style *takes out hacksaw*

  21. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #21
    *immediately joins, even though Narv doesn't even know her*

  22. Andu's Avatar
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    #22
    Hey all, I too am a huge fan o..

    Oh sorry, I thought this was the Nav-fanclub.


  23. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #23


    Narv ran a very fun game here (dunno how to shrink the link):
    http://www.lotrplaza.com/forum/forum...asp?TID=217804

    ...in which many hilarious things happened and I got to post a love song to Gollum. So I am grateful toNarv and shall now offer him sardines.
    <center><img src="http://www.lotrplaza.com/forum/uploads/10927/artisansig2a.jpg" border="0" /><font color="grey"><strong>
    <br />Order of the Artisan 2nd Class
    <br /></strong></center><center>Founder of the League of Gollum Children

  24. Narv's Avatar
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    #24


    RAKA: you rolled an EXCELLENT OFFERING, since i have recently realized that sardines are pretty tasty and more importantly exceedingly cheap and i have started putting whole cans ofthem into my ravioli and calling it sardioli and eating it once or twice a day. my roommate has informed me that he's no longer on speaking terms with me because of this but it's worth it, especially when you use the sardines with hot peppers in them, MAN it is good

    Andu
    and Lou
    were walking in the park
    when suddenly out of the dark
    they were beset upon
    and had their kneesset upon
    themantlepiece
    of a virile beast
    and they kind of deserved it
    because i am not nav

    what do you mean Valehdictorian, of course i remember you!! you called me Navg. (&lt;----- another smilie that deserves dearly to be missed)

    Ally that thumb is all yours, i've a big tub of them in my closet

  25. Narv's Avatar
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    #25
    oh and i think that i am going to have to join my own fan club as i have just dumbfounded myself with awe. you see this post will my 50th post in 24 hours, not to mention i also made 46 points in the same timeframe (and yes i realize that it would be far cooler if i made 50 points in the same timeframee instead of 46.... if only someone could remedy that somehow.... with some kind of point-giving mechanism.... if only...... one day....). That is an amassing of practically Winddanceresque proportions (almost) and thus i am rather in awe of myself i'm afraid.

  26. Silendra's Avatar
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    #26




  27. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #27
    I have poetry of yours ... I may have to provide a link to my house. Narv poetry must be read, yea verily.

  28. Region's Avatar
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    #28
    Here's another kewl Taba-game the Winddanceresque Posting Tornado Rank III Mordor Troll once invented.

    Perhaps...a BULLET?????????



    There. That bullet looks so nice in this post!!!


  29. Amalric's Avatar
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    #29
    i changed my name once to a gross, ugly clam (and to a gross ugly clam, but let's not go there)

    need i say more


  30. Silendra's Avatar
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    #30
    &lt; -- Narv drinks 14 gallons of chocolate milk!!

    non prohibere me.




  31. Andu's Avatar
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    #31

    Quote Originally Posted by Narv

    they were beset upon
    and had their kneesset upon
    I bet you've had a lot of poets in your family...

  32. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #32
    Oh no, now I can't use the 'advanced search' button because you call me something that isn't Valeh...

    And you have to admit that that time you where just ASKING to have your name written wrong!

  33. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #33
    Narv, if your roommate complains any more about the sardines, just threaten to rend him in the gibberwarts with your blurglecruncheon. And if that doesn't work, smackhim with a cardboard fish (or a rubber fish or if you're lucky a real fish). And if all else fails, bite him.

  34. Alkthoniel's Avatar
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    #34
    Yay! *pats thumb* I think I shall call him Colin.

  35. Narv's Avatar
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    #35
    ears - your house works?? can you see the threads??? or just the main page and rooms and such?

    region: norwegian legion: GOOD WORK ADMIRAL, we are now the sassy furious trollson twins and we cannot be stopped!!!!!!!! and good job on that link too, i forgot all about that game.... as you can perhaps tell from its abrupt and inconclusive end....... ears ears earsif you unlock that thread theni'll do another update for it, for kicks and because i feel bad... there were some excellent posts there that i just didn't respond to

    armalic, yes you did, and your promised epic sequel is onits epicway. epic things that epic take epic time you see but it will be epically worth it

    great Sil so evidently the mordor rulers HAVE seen my depressing fall from Caption-Contest-finding triumph and thus by implication have also seen the Caption-Contest-finding triumph itself, and yet still they refuse to give me my just reward i.e. khamul. ridiculous!! i give and i give and i give, you know??

    Andu funny you should ask mon friere. my mom found out afewmoths ago thati'm related to T.S. Eliot i.e. greatest british-american poet of them all or so i am told by my heart. so yes poetry is a deeply important family tradition for me.

    Valeh D. if i remember correctly, and i may not, i was under the impression that i was not so much asking for my named to be spelt incorrectly as i was IMPLORING that it be spelt CORRECTLY AT ALL TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i could be wrong like i said

    Silanna, having exhausted all gibberwarts/bluglecruncheon-themed recourse i have indeed begun fashioning a cardboard fish to which i intend to duct tape real decaying fish and quite possible a live osprey, which will do the biting for me whilst i do the smacking. i believe this to be the most efficient method

    colin is a good name. i have a few body parts named colin also, here and there.

  36. Uruva's Avatar
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    #36
    This is my new favorite thread.

  37. Narv's Avatar
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    #37


    1) cool i agree, but far more importantly, 2) mordor rank 10 is legolas love letters moderator now??? everyone excuse me please i have to go post in every thief hunt in every kingdom every day for the next 10 months or so

  38. Uruva's Avatar
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    #38
    Yes... yes it is, you go do that.

  39. Region's Avatar
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    #39
    Narv: awesome. But I think the fact that we're twins in trollhood doesn't mean I have to change my name into something that may be confused with Nav and Narv???!!!!

    Uruva: I like your style.


  40. Uruva's Avatar
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    #40
    Yes, as moderator of the LLL I don't help people out, I confuse them more.

  41. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #41
    Yes - I made Dain change all the little red dots into green ones.

  42. Silendra's Avatar
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    #42
    Reeg, change to Nrav!!

    non prohibere me.




  43. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #43


    Narv~ ok, ok...at least I can spell it well now...


    Uruva~ Oh, so that explains it! nah, just kidding.
    Sil~ Good idea. Things will be sooo much easier...

  44. Narv's Avatar
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    #44


    trollhood brethren troll brother#2: change your name to Nrav and you will taste the piercing scent of fratricide within the hour my friend


    ears can i have a link to your house, no offense but i don't believe in the slightest a single word you're saying
    V. Dictorian: good good

  45. Narv's Avatar
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    #45
    EVERYBODY GUESS A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 26

  46. Boone's Avatar
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    #46
    22!

  47. Silendra's Avatar
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    #47
    14!!!

  48. Region's Avatar
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    #48
    Yuck. Fratricide! No-one said anything about discrete numbers so my guess is

    pi

    hahaha.


  49. Nightshade's Avatar
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    #49
    Isn't everyone a Narv fan? Insanity, chaos, a pony named lovespeckles!!!!!...what's not to like?


    15.65176141561

  50. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #50
    13!

  51. Uruva's Avatar
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    #51
    e

  52. Magradhaid's Avatar
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    #52
    "A number between 1 and 26"

  53. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #53
    I am APPALLED you do not believe me. I am EMINENTLY trustworthy. And ALSO prone to capslock ODD words when distressed.

    But alright. You can have a link: The House of Ill-Repute

    And my number of choice is 5.


  54. Narv's Avatar
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    #54
    holy gosh as if your house works ears. mine doesn't

    oh yeah and you're all wrong, the correct answer was 9. because that's how many cans of sardines i ate this week. the winner would have gotten a signed copy of my new book: How Many Cans Of Sardines I Ate This Week, Part One: The Tomato Sauce Excursion. but nobody got it, BUMMER FOR EVERYONE EH

    better luck next week

  55. Lhaw's Avatar
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    #55
    Well - to be fair, that is archive3 and my house hardly moved onward from the end of 2004 ... which is quite shameful, really.

  56. Region's Avatar
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    #56
    Ah sour grapes, I was so close to getting that book!!! But if it's any consolation, Narv, you can watch Berry's pitiful HTML attempts, it's a room in her house. And no that's not necessarily my opinion, it really is the name of that room.

  57. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #57
    I want that book! Can you post an excerpt or something...? Or give me one as a present for being nice and loyal to your club?

  58. Narv's Avatar
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    #58
    How Many Cans Of Sardines I Ate This Week, Part One: The Tomato Sauce Excursion
    <DIV align=center>
    a 150-wordexcerpt from Chapter 16
    ... and then I asked the man at the counter why I wasn't allowed to play raquetball in the reactor core, and he said something I didn't really pay attention to and then I backhanded him and played raquetball in the reactor core anyway. I was beating Carlos 14-11 and was completely in the zone when the FBI barged in and started to arrest us. Obviously I told them that Carlos had been holding me hostage in the reactor core and then I backhanded him and asked the FBI if I could please go home. They said ok, so I said ok and went home and had my fourth can of sardines this week.

    The fifth can of sardines I ate this week has perhaps the most fascinating backstory of all. On Wednesday morning at around 10:15, I stepped outside to put out the recycling, except then the president exploded and ...

  59. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #59
    "the president exploded"?

    I suggest writing your next book about 1001 Ways to Use Sardines for Punishing People who Party Outside Your Window Late At Night or Otherwise Annoy You. I could certainly use it.

  60. Uruva's Avatar
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    #60
    I would like that book right now!

  61. Region's Avatar
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    #61
    Yes, where can I go get a copy?

  62. Silendra's Avatar
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    #62
    yes please Narv

    non prohibere me.




  63. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #63
    Pleeeeaaaasse! I loved the excerpt!
    When do you publish it?

  64. Drifa's Avatar
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    #64

    I like sardines in tomato sauce. Wow! What a coincidence. Did you just pick random flavors to eat in you book or did you just eat the tomato flavored ones?

    If I join the club do I get a signed copy of the book?

    Oh and by the way, how you doing Narv? Nice to meet you!


  65. Narv's Avatar
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    #65
    fine fine fine stop whiningi'll write it in november, it'll be 50000 words

    hey Drifa not too bad you

    i've actuallymused to myself several times over the last few months how weird it is that we've both beenfrequenting this placefor five and a half years and we haven't managed to ever actually run into each other in all that time from what i can recall. actually it was both youand thatcool-namedguy from Gondor, Findulius Flaiverin or something. so i am now halfway to peace of mind - thank you for that mon frere

    and YESway to pick up onmy subtleliterarytechniques,two weeks ago was indeed the week i first entered the wonderful and frightening world of tomato saucedsardines. long story short theyare terrific, bested only by the ones with hot peppers in them, which are essentially unbestable.

  66. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #66
    I re-readthe Attempt to Not Get Killed thread today...man, those were the good times.

  67. Silendra's Avatar
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    #67
    we should be like a brotherhood and have passwords and stuff

    non prohibere me.




  68. Hanzō's Avatar
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    #68
    i agree with password. something similar to the one they had in beerfest

  69. Narv's Avatar
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    #69
    k everyone the password is a picture of a camel in a jeep. in order to be accepted into the brotherhood clubeveryone must post a bona fide picture of a camel in a jeep, because i think that would be an awesome sitcom and i want to do some scouting for the lead roles. right now i'm thinking jason alexander as the jeep and probably regis philbin as the camel and also regis philbin as the camel's sassy wife. everyone who enters the brotherhood club gets producer credits

  70. Uruva's Avatar
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    #70
    Ok, am I a member of the brotherhood now?




  71. Hanzō's Avatar
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    #71


    I'm down, &lt;but of course Uruva's is better&gt;.




  72. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #72
    Since I don't know doodly about finding/modifying/posting photos, I guess I'm out of the club. It's been fun. Bye.

  73. Drifa's Avatar
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    #73
    I thought Mini Tobow was a good password. But I see that camels are the fave. Oh well...


  74. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #74
    Still can'tfind/make/post thatpicture but I'm postinghere anyway because this thread is in imminent danger of vanishing into oblivion and we can't have that because Narv is the most awesomely hilariousestminion ever.COME BACK TO YOUR FAN CLUB, NARV!!!

    Also, tell me how I did on your Discworld quiz already.

  75. Scea's Avatar
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    #75
    Camels? I guess mules are so... however long ago that was.

    To be honest, I would have to say that I prefer camels in llamas because llamas are more environmentally friendly unless by environment you mean something involving people relating to other people and getting mad and stuff. Because a camellama would definitely be a spiteful creature, kind of like an Aunt Maude only without the purplish hair, and it would probably spit which is not to say that Aunt Maudes do that sort of thing, but that they would if they didn't think it indecorous.

    You see, when I don't have my Narv fix I make paltry efforts to mimic you in order to stave off sanity. But they say that emulation is the highest form of flattery (only I can't remember what they call it when they say that) so just think of it like I'm flattering you, Narv. By the way, how did I do in my attempt to be you, hmm?


  76. Narv's Avatar
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    #76
    PRETTY GOOD SCEA

    BUT MORE YELLING

    WHERE WERE WE

    RIGHT

    two quality camels in two quality jeeps. this is going to be the best sitcom ever!! k so Uruva and the umlaut guy are in the brotherhood, i unfortunately am not as yet but i will post the password asap

    oh snap my quiz i <STRIKE>forgot</STRIKE> remembered all about that

  77. Uruva's Avatar
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    #77
    The Narv brotherhood without Narv... if it would happen to anyone...

  78. Scea's Avatar
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    #78
    I CAN'T YELL, I HAVE A REALLY BAD COLD AND YELLING WOULD MAKE ME COUGH A LOT BECAUSE I SMOKE SEVENTEEN PACKS A DAY ON TOP OF THE COLD SO I HAVE BRONCHITIS AND I'M GOING DEAF.

    No, seriously, hearing loss can be related to smoking. Who knew? Besides the tobacco companies that are doing their best to destroy our bodies with their foul fumes...


  79. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #79

    Can I join now?

  80. Narv's Avatar
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    #80
    that's a hell of a jeep

    you're in

  81. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #81
    Thanks.

  82. Silanna Seastar's Avatar
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    #82


    Thanks for the mountain of gollums.

  83. Narv's Avatar
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    #83
    np

  84. Scea's Avatar
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    #84
    Have you seen the watermelon I was carrying around? I appear to have mislaid it...

  85. Narv's Avatar
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    #85
    you mean this watermelon



    you can't have it back sorry

  86. Uruva's Avatar
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    #86
    That's an apple spray-painted green.

  87. Narv's Avatar
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    #87
    shut up it's a gala watermelon

  88. Uruva's Avatar
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    #88
    My name is Granny Smith

  89. Narv's Avatar
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    #89
    precisely, you're an old bat and yet you stillthink you're unsenile enough to tell the difference between an apple and a watermelon. just goes to show how senile you are i guess

  90. Silendra's Avatar
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    #90
    It's not a watermelon. There are no stripes.

    I still keep trying to get a camel into the jeep but it won't work. I don't have the money to put the damn camel through driving school.


  91. Region's Avatar
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    #91
    OH MY ERU!

    Some people don't see the stripes!!! Man, gimme some time to set up my optics store and I'll be in business soon.


  92. ~Rings's Avatar
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    #92
    I hate Narv......

  93. Narv's Avatar
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    #93


    if by Narv you mean Narv's Watermelon, and by hate you mean Can Clearly See The Stripes On, and by...... you mean Because It Is Obviously A Watermelon Damn You All, then yes i believe you and you have my full support

  94. The TARDIS's Avatar
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    #94
    Well, I want to post here, but I really don't know what to say...so, I'll just not say anything I guess. and I think you spilled glitter all over your apple. you should get glasses, no offence.

    .....

  95. ~Rings's Avatar
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    #95
    Yeah Narv your apple is lame... I have seen you draw better photos like..... uhhhh yeah there is one that was good once it was uhhhh.... ok I give.

  96. Silendra's Avatar
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    #96
    He sculpted a bird for me out of bread once and took a photo. That was pretty good.

    non prohibere me.




  97. Auğri's Avatar
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    #97
    I'd marry him

  98. Uruva's Avatar
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    #98
    Narv is my minion and needs my permission for everything.

  99. ~Rings's Avatar
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    #99
    Narv is just a good brown noser... he knows it too. Ewww I think I complimented him.. YUCK!

  100. Narv's Avatar
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    #100
    looks like somebody isn't getting a bird bread sculpture of their own


    i.e. RINGS





    tzu might

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